Can I Live with Myself? - Part 5

- contd from Part 4

Courage to Walk the Path

In living the lies of the world and in the process of losing ourselves one of the most important factor that we have gained is fear. Fear has taken us for a toll in some of the following ways:

• Fear of losing money, job, possessions
• Fear of losing relationships,
• Fear of acceptance of truth
• Fear of being not in a group
• Fear of not being in a community
• Fear of not having a religion
• Fear of not belonging to any particular group
• Fear of missing out (FOMO) information
• Fear of losing importance
• Fear of not being prioritized
• Fear of not getting recognized
• Fear of not getting updated and able to use the most advanced gadgets
• Fear of not having the latest gadgets
• Fear of not using the right toiletries
• Fear of not eating the right food
• Fear of gaining weight
• Fear of not having a proper physique
• Fear of indigestion
• Fear of improper communication
• Fear of traffic jams
• Fear of unable to choose from the plethora of choices that are made available - whether it is various educational courses in schools, colleges or universities; foods - especially processed foods in a grocery store; varieties of fashioned clothes in a mall; myriad choices of all unnecessary necessitated items
• Fear of not having studied in premier institutions ('the B-Schools')
• Fear of not having premier education (where there teach how to successfully sell a lie, how to buy the lie once you are out of the Universities by working your asses out, and how to successfully (unhappily ever-after) live that lie that is being sold to you in anticipation of happiness which is promised to obtain in the so called "in/near future")
• Fear of inefficient networking (because no one has clarity what exactly they want in their lives to live the life truly)
• Fear of not having friendly colleagues at work (because of too transactional relationships)
• Fear of not having appropriate friends in life (again because of transactional relationships)
• Fear of not getting appreciation
• Fear of less performance at office or at home
• Fear of not able to meet partners requirements 
• Fear of disease
• Fear of insomnia
• Fear of losing news on what is happening in the world
• Fear of children's future, etc., etc.,
• Fear of not having or losing all kinds of unnecessary necessities. 

Apart from the psychological fears, we have created so many fears as above. The only reason why we got stuck or succumbed to so many fears is, because, we are not living our lives truly. We are living our lives always wearing some or the other kind of masks or living someone else's lie. We have developed so many fears purely based upon the influence of the advertisements which often sell a lie; or the influence of peers who have worked their asses out to achieve and possess the advertised products (most of them are not necessary). This way of living with masks or living someone's else's lie has not only spoiled our mental and physical health, in fact, it has also taken away from us our freedom of pure thinking and freedom of living truthfully. Here, I would like to quote words of Sri Jiddu Krishnamurti who says...

"Fear is the destructive energy in man. It withers the mind, it distorts thought, it leads to all kinds of extraordinarily clever and subtle theories, absurd superstitions, dogmas, and beliefs". - Jiddu Krishnamurti

How to live fearlessly?

The only way to live fearlessly is to face the fear. Look into its face straight.

There is an anecdote that Swami Sri Yukteswar ji shares with his disciple Paramahansa Yogananda ji during the latter's training in his ashram. The discussion from the book "Autobiography of a Yogi" goes as follows:

“My mother once tried to frighten me with an appalling story of a ghost in a dark chamber. I went there immediately, and expressed my disappointment at having missed the ghost. Mother never told me another horror tale. Moral: Look fear in the face and it will cease to trouble you".

To walk the path of Truth we have to get rid of all kinds of fears and then, and then only, we would be able to walk the path. Even if we have to walk the path alone, it just does not matter, we have to just walk.

Overcoming Fear

To walk the path of Truth, we need courage and to have courage, we need to get rid of fear. To get rid of fear, we need to have courage. So, what to do?

Breathing Technique

The first and foremost is, whenever we are afraid of something or the other, we have to observe for the location of fear. Generally 99.99% of the time, the fear starts in or from the heart region. We can sense the change in the palpitations and the variation in breath or in our breathing pattern. Instead of ignoring these variations in the heart palpitations, we should recognize them and accept them first. Then, by becoming a witness to them, we should practice deep breaths by which we become aware of the reduction in the fear as the breath becomes deeper and slower. This diminishing in fear will make us to look at the scenario with a different perspective. Then, over a period of time, we can develop our own strategies in overcoming the fear.

Self Reflection

Another method of overcoming fear is questioning ourselves and self-reflect. The most simple ways of questioning are:

• Is this fear necessary to me? 
• Do I need to have this fear? 
• Do I need to undergo through this situation with this fear?
• What if the situation would be if fear is not there?
• What is that which is creating in me this fear?
• What is that I would lose, in this situation, and what is the undercurrent for this fear?
• Do I need to live someone else's lie and what if I don't? Will I feel left out? What if I am alone? Can't I live with my true self?
• Can't I accept the way I am - pure, naked, stripped off of all external entanglements, attachments and labels?

One of the biggest factors of fear is illusion. We do not see the world, the way it is supposed to be seen. One of the truths that we forget about the world is its impermanence. We anticipate that everything has to be permanent and secured. And, in non-acceptance of impermanency of the world and its insecurity, we develop fear. One reason for this is the kind of ideas, opinions, and information that have been shared or tried to showcase on us by our peers (parents, grand parents, teachers, bosses, etc.) regarding their way of living, earning as if they are going to stay forever on this earth. Sometimes we mask one fear with a fear of another. One of the mask that we always try to wear is non-acceptance of a particular fear. With all the kinds of false ideas and opinions that we carry about our lives from our childhood, we have lost the ability of seeing the Truth. To see the Truth one need to enter into the realms of Stillness and Silence. Then one would be able to clearly discriminate what is necessary and what is unnecessary. From that discrimination, we can slowly start getting rid of all of our physical and psychological baggage thereby becoming free to be able to see the Truth.

Our minds have got so much corrupted by the external or worldly influences that we need to burn it off  mercilessly with great courage and persistence in meditation or mindfulness practices and purify it so that it can reflect the Truth.

As gold purified in a furnace loses its impurities and achieves its own true nature, the mind gets rid of the impurities of the attributes of delusion, attachment and purity through meditation and attains Reality. - Ādi Shankarāchārya.

Even if we fail in the beginning, it does not matter. We have to keep on trying it. What we require to try is courage. Once we walk the path courageously, then all fears will just leave us and we are face-to-face with the Truth and that Truth is eternal bliss.

Contd.. in Part 6.