Thursday, October 17, 2019

Can I Live with Myself? - Part 3

-contd. from part 2

Avoiding boredom

One of the biggest block in accepting oneself or self-acceptance is boredom. In the means of avoiding boredom we accept all those lies that society impinges upon us.

Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda on a topic "Be a Smile Millionaire" in the book "Man's Eternal Quest" says "The average man is familiar with four states of mind. When a desire is fulfilled, he is happy. When a desire is denied, he is unhappy. When he is neither glad nor sorrowful, he is bored. When these three emotions, these three states of mind — pleasure, pain, and boredom — are sloughed off, he has peace."

So, we as human beings are trying to seek pleasure always and in this process of seeking pleasure, we end up most of the times in those activities that eventually lead us to frustration and misery. All of our seeking depends mainly upon our senses and we believe firmly that our senses do not mislead us. In gratifying our senses we become so much emotional that we will make all attempts to justify our emotions and eventually end up living our misbeliefs which will create more and more lies and make us to live a life sans contentment.

We as human beings are ending up in boredom because of non-understanding of the Truth and in avoiding boredom we are either seeking pleasure or pain unconsciously and searching for contentment in this process of seeking. In this process we end up most of the times in passing judgmental statements either against others or ourselves. Sometimes we might become so self-critical that we stop loving ourselves and our bodies.

When it comes to the aspect of our bodies, the main fuel for running this body is food and in satisfying the sense of taste and its corresponding sense organ tongue, we again live a big lie that of ourselves, cultural and societal. How many times we listen to our bodies and provide it the right nourishment that it requires to survive and to be healthy? In this aspect we get so much hypnotised by the advertisements that we end up consuming all types of heavily to moderate processed foods and end up into psychological and physiological uneasiness. It is very surprising that some of us just eat so unconsciously to avoid boredom and end up becoming obese.

One of the first steps that we need to question ourselves is:

  • Why are we getting bored? 
  • What is that which is leading us to boredom? 
  • In the process of living someone else's lie, are we trying to avoid something which is genuine to us and ending up in boredom?

When we put these questions, it will reveal to us that we are avoiding Truth of what we are in reality in living the lie. We gave higher priority in living the lie rather than living the Truth.

Now to understand what the Truth is not an easy task, especially when we are so much surrounded by the information overload of lies.

Hence, the best way is to slow down and may be stop most of the activities and reflect on Self. This reflection on Self will lead us to peace and the best method for this is to meditate or practice mindfulness.

One of the easiest methods of escaping from the influence of information overload is to focus on the breath. Hence, whenever we are ending up in boredom and instead of trying to seek pleasure or pain, we should just focus on our breath and its movement. Probably play a while with breath in regulating (not manipulating) it. Become more and more aware of its movement and eventually it will lead us to stillness and silence and that would be the best moment for self-reflection.

This self-reflection when carried out in stillness and silence will provide a platform to live with ourselves.

Process of Self-reflection

The process of Self-reflection is not an easy process. One should be brave enough for all kinds of consequences it will result in. Many a times it surfaces so much of filth that we might get scared to accept and probably don't even want to attempt it.

When we get into stillness and silence by practicing mindfulness/meditation practices, mainly by focusing on breath, they make us to become non-judgmental and unbiased over a period of time. The more we practice them, the more sensible and courageous we become and we would increase our capability of accepting the Truth.

During these meditation/mindfulness practices, whenever we enter into some amount of stillness/silence, we should ask ourselves the following questions:

  • Am I living the way I am supposed to be?
  • What is the actual way of living?
  • To what extent I am influenced by the external world or the people whom I come across in terms of various relationships (friends, relatives, spouse, children, peers, etc.)?
  • In taking any decision, what is that aspect that I would rely on and to what extent that aspect is influenced by any of the external or worldly influences?
  • Can I be completely unbiased and non-judgmental in my decisions?

When we put ourselves these questions and reflect upon the Self, it surfaces that most of our decisions and actions and the results based on those decisions are phenomenally judgmental, biased and ego-based.

People of the world don't look at themselves, and so they blame one another. - Rumi

- to be contd in part 4.

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